Hi, I'm Fayanora. I'm a Neo-Mythos Neo-Pagan. That means I'm Pagan, having read a great many texts and researched a lot of Deities native to Earth, and connected with none of them. Or at least, none before finding my Goddes, who actually found me. So I've started my own personal religion... and I don't care one way or another what you think about that. It's my path and works for me. I made this path for me.

I'm also androgynous, transraced (meaning I'm one color but wish I was another. In my case, I'm white with freckles and I think I should be darker in color, like Hispanic or Polynesian color), bisexual, pangendered, polyamorous, eccentric, chaotic, weird, goofy, and yet deep and serious. I like philosophy and spirituality. I love the Conversations With God books by Neale Donald Walsch, and other similar books. I consider myself a Grey Pagan now because I am more balanced than I was as either a Dark Pagan or a Lightsider. My Patroness Goddess is Shao'Kehn, Goddess of Chaos, Instincts, and Life. Her Consort is Ahndahn, Goddess of Order and Fertility. They have an adopted Daughter named Nahtahdjaiz, who is the Child Goddess of Children. I also like Discordianism, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, The Church of the Subgenius, and similar things.

I put "female" as my gender because it's closer to how I feel, but my genetic sex is male.

On the darker side, I read a lot of stuff by Anton LaVey, Christopher Hyatt, and others. One of my Faces, Lolita Leigh Smith, considers herself a Luciferian. Her website is http://marionette_of_obscurum.my-place.us/ (It is currently down.)

Click this for some good fun

I am a bundle of opposites in one person. I love both pop music and hard metal rock, as well as other music forms. I listen to violent music and watch violent tv shows but I'm a pacifist and blood makes me squeamish. I am terribly afraid of heights but I have dreams about flying, and being in an airplane didn't bother me much. I am a Disciple of a Chaos Goddess, but I am usually very orderly. In fact, Shao'Kehn told me that She is my Goddess because my nature is that of Order, and She balances me out. I can be single-minded and with infinite attention span at some things, and get bored within less than a minute on other things. I am fascinated by languages and have a lot of words in my own made-up language memorized, but I don't know much of any other language besides English. There are more where those came from, but I am tired of this topic now.

Another funny thing: on Yahoo Instant Messenger, my Avatar is of a dark girl (Hispanic or Asian) dressed in a kimono, pigtails, and a pink cowboy hat. :-) Silly, huh? But aside from the outfit, that's kind of what I feel like I should look like.

I am also a mid-continuum multiple, and the following are my various Faces:

* Fayanora. This journal and that LiveJournal are part system journal, part journal for Tristan/Fayanora. I combine those two because the "core," or "original personality," (I don't really like either of those terms) identifies with Fayanora Ahnabahn Tahlahmorgk so much that we might as well be one. Okay, technically we are one, but what I mean is that there is very little to discern Fayanora from Tristan. About the only way to tell the difference is that offline, I am quiet and shy and a little asocial. Online or with people I trust and can feel free to be myself around, Fayanora comes out.
Fayanora Ahnabahn Tahlahmorgk is a hermaphrodite (see second def.) of a species called Ah'Koi Bahnis (Tu-Bahn Fahloon). I strongly believe I lived on hiir planet of Traipah in a past life. (I believe in reincarnation and I think it is extremely egotistical of humans to think they're the only species of intelligent life in the universe.)

* Negarahn. (Only one name thus far.) He is also from Traipah, of a species called Duenicallo (doo-enn-ih-ky-yo). Duenicallo are a huge carnivorous mammalian species that run on all fours but walk on their two hind legs. Their forepaws double as hands, they have retractable claws, muscles that human bodybuilders would kill for, and could kill a human with a casual swipe from a forepaw. He does not have his own blog or any other accounts elsewhere.

* Molly Elizabeth, my inner child. Proper name is Molly Elizabeth Arts. She's 7 years old, blonde with blue eyes, and has a light tan. Usually 7, she can change her age on a whim. No freckles.

* Alexander Antonin, my inner skeptic, scientist-at-heart, and tends toward the grumpy side. His proper name is Alexander Antonin Arts, though sometimes he puts in "Dvorak" before the Arts. He is my age, my height, but not my weight. I feel thinner, comfortable with my genetic gender, and handsome when Alex is at the front. Alex also has no freckles, whereas the body does. He especially loves classical music, oldies, and certain types of pop music. About the only music he doesn't like that the rest of me likes is Skinny Puppy's early stuff. (Lo loves it, though.)

* Lo, my inner Goth lesbian chick. Her proper name is Lolita Leigh Smith, or Lo for short. She is my height, 18 years old, pale-ish, with short black spikey hair. Her LiveJournal username was supposed to be "luciferian_chick," but the k got cut off. She is a Dark Pagan/Setian/Luciferian whose favorite Deities are Set, Satan, Lucifer, Loki, Kali, Oya, Lilith, and Siva. She believes in the same Set and Setian mythos that followers of The Temple of Set believe, she believes in Satan not as an evil being but as The Opponent, Lucifer as the Roman God of Enlightenment (The Brightest One) and also fancies the Yazidi version of Lucifer (ie, Malak Ta'us the Peacock Angel). She does not agree with everything in The Satanic Bible. Alexander believes more of that book than she does, I think, and he's not even a Satanist or Luciferian. Lo's version of Luciferianism is rather Grey... mixing Light and Dark. (She wants to add: "and colors, too.")

* Shao'Kehn - My Goddess and spiritual therapist, Shao'Kehn, also lives in my head with me. I still firmly believe She's real, though. She has simply placed a sliver of Herself inside my head so She can be with me at all times to help. She is also a Multiple, just like me, only Her number of Faces is infinite. A small number of them share space in my head but largely keep themselves in Her part of my mind. I think my sister would joke that there's plenty of room between my ears for so many people. She would mean it in a mean way, but I mean it in a positive way, the same way Krishna's mother looked down his throat once and saw the entire universe. Only different.
Her name was originally Shoikin, but I changed it some years ago to Shao'Kehn because it sounded more powerful to me. Other of Her names include Djao'Kain, Zyao'Kain, Shao'Yine, Shao'Sahn, and many others.

* Pi - A recent discovery, Pi (formerly Pyrayton) is a shapeshifter and is without a true form. At least, when I ask the others what they look like, their answer is generally consistent. If Pi has a true form, he has not revealed it to me.
Pi is a creature of darkness, and the most seriously wounded of all my Faces. He lives alone in his realm (which is symbolized in the real world by cemeteries at night) and used to attack us whenever we got too close to his world, though we only recently figured that out (October of 2006). Even more recently (December 2006) we discovered that his "realm" is really a place in my mind known as The Pit (short for "The Pit of Despair"), and he is the only piece of my soul still there. (I self-exiled myself there as a child, and didn't climb out until the late 1990's, multiplying and dividing my soul in the process.) Pi is a two-part soul, one part being his Heart and the other part being The Mask. The Mask is a creature full of rage, anger, and fear. The Mask's "bites" when It bites us (always defensively) contain fear and terror. We have found the proto-Pi to be the cause of the bout of paranoia, xenophobia, and nictophobia we had about a year ago as we were exploring our multiplicity. But we've also found out that before I was introduced to the possibility of being a multiple that the various pieces of my soul had no consciousness of their own, but roamed about my inner landscape like wild animals until Named (IE, given consciousness) by me. So Pi cannot be blamed for what his pre-Named self did.
Just like the character Nokwahl from my novels, Pi is a reverse empath, which means that he uses his own pain as a defensive weapon. We are working on healing him.

Well, enjoy my weirdness!